57 12/17/2020

Today my dad would have turned 57.

I could spend ages describing all the things I’ve learned (and continue to learn) from him, but perhaps the most profound teaching was that he didn’t try to teach you anything at all. He wouldn’t sit you down for a lesson or tell you how things ought to be. Instead, he lead a life that was easy to follow with an open heart. One which shied away from the trappings of judgement. One with boundless compassion, without exception. One which found strength in lifting others up. One which illuminated grace in the imperfect. One which looked past our peculiar human adornments to observe fellow souls, as we struggle together. One which has helped me define what love really means.

Words fail any attempt to describe the experience of losing a fixture of unconditional love, of which are gifted so few.

We are scared of non-dualistic states of being - we aren’t taught to feel more than one thing at a time. Of course, we’re allowed to be both happy and sad. We’re allowed to be both fearful and calm. We’re allowed to be both broken and repaired. All of it is true.

I only know this because every time my heart breaks, the light of gratitude for having had him with me on this journey shines through, as both the immense pain and eternal love greet me, sitting side by side, holding hands in every tear.

Here’s to the next trip we take together.
Happy birthday and I love you.

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